Now that Thanksgiving is past radio stations and playlists everywhere are ramping up the Christmas tunes. Everything from “Jingle Bell Rock” and “Blue Christmas” to “Joy To The World” and “We Wish You A Merry Christmas” fill the airwaves. These songs conjure up images of good times, joyful times, and times when we miss the ones we love.
One Christmas standard has become subject to some debate in recent years, a debate that still continues on the Internet. “Baby It’s Cold Outside,” that seemingly playful call and response duet between a woman and a man, has been vilified as a song where a man pressures a woman into staying with him when she wants to leave.
I asked a number of people for their thoughts on the song. For some – both male and female – the song seems a bit creepy, problematic, and coercive. They viewed it as an example of “men who don’t respect (women) boundaries.”
For others – again both male and female – the song is “just fun” and “reflects a different time.” Trying to apply today’s values to a song written 80 years ago is “just silly.” In that regard, “It is a very innocent, romantic song. No one pressuring anyone. The woman is deciding for herself whether she wants to stay or go.”
One person observed “… that the song means different things to different people, and how one interprets it depends a lot on their own experiences, expectations, and fears.”
“Baby It’s Cold Outside”” was written in 1944 by songwriter Frank Loesser, best known for the music and lyrics he wrote for Guys and Dolls and other musicals. For those who say the song reflects a different time – well, it does. Those who study relationships between people note that dating as we know it today was only a few decades old when the song was written. The rules and expectations for what would happen on a date were still being worked out.
And there was a certain hypocrisy when it came to premarital sex. Over half of college age men and women said they disapproved of it. Yet, nearly half of women and well over half of men acknowledged they had engaged in premarital sex.
Men were more easily forgiven for their transgression. Not so for women. According to Rachel Devlin, author of Relative Intimacy: Fathers, Adolescent Daughters, and Postwar American Culture and a professor of History at Rutgers University, “Men were expected to push, and women were expected to make sure men didn’t cross the line, which was entirely up to the women because if the line was crossed, and they did have sex, she was ruined.”
Beth Bailey, author of From Front Porch to Back Seat: Courtship in Twentieth-Century America, “That song comes from an era when women were just expected to say no, (regardless of) what they wanted. The culture refused to acknowledge women’s right to say yes or no. Not being able to say yes is as much of a problem as having to say no.”
In that light, ”Baby, It’s Cold Outside” is a tongue-in-cheek satire of everyday negotiations that went on during many a date. The man is pretty straightforward in what he wants. The woman does not necessarily object, but she has many stated concerns. In the end, as someone pointed out, do we even know if she stayed? And if so, for how long and what exactly did they do? The song leaves it to us to decide.
Does that mean those who find the song problematic? Absolutely not. As times change, many songs became out of date. The type of negotiation through flirtation that took place in the 1940s would be unlikely in today’s world. Today, “No means no” and is non-negotiable. Even in the mid-1940s, a man forcing himself on a woman would be dealt with harshly if found out.
So for those of you who like to think of “Baby, It’s Cold Outside” as a playful, flirtatious song, feel free to enjoy it. Those of you who find it cringe worthy and creepy, feel free to skip it when it comes round on the playlist. As for the song itself, Frank Loesser wrote it for he and his wife, Lynn Garland, to sing at their housewarming party. It was intended as an amusing way to let their guests know it was time to leave.
The song was such a hit with the guests the couple became much in demand to be the closing act at numerous parlor room parties over the next few years. Loesser sold the rights to the song to MGM in 1948 for the studio to use in the 1949 film Neptune’s Daughter.
Neither the movie nor the song itself specifically reference Christmas. The lyrics reference the cold and a storm implying wintertime. That apparently is enough to tie it in with the holiday.
Many people associate the song with Dean Martin and wonder if anyone else ever sang it. The first recording of “Baby…” was by Ella Fitzgerald featuring Louis Jordan and His Tympany Five in 1949. Since then some 530 versions have been recorded by everyone from Dinah Shore to Lou Rawls to Leon Redbone and Zooey Deschanel.
“Baby, It’s Cold Outside” may be outdated, at least for some. It may some day cease to be heard at this time of year but that day is not today. Who knows? It may turn out to be as enduring as “We Wish You A Merry Christmas” which dates back to at least the 1600s.
And do we ever stop to wonder just what is a figgy pudding?
